In today’s rapidly changing world, it’s essential for us to hold ourselves to high standards, embodying the principles and values of Islam in every aspect of our lives. By doing so, we not only elevate ourselves but also inspire others around us. Let’s delve into what it means to be a woman of high value and how we can embrace these principles in our daily lives.
1. Be a Chaste Woman
First and foremost, strive to be a chaste woman. Chastity isn’t just about one’s physical state; it’s about purity of thought and action. Guarding your modesty and maintaining a dignified demeanor helps you cultivate respect, not only for yourself but from others as well. Remember this: your self-worth isn’t determined by others’ standards but by your own values guided by your faith. The respect you command through your actions and choices will become a beacon for others to emulate.
Begin by understanding that chastity is a holistic concept. It incorporates not just abstinence from immoral behavior, but also the refinement of your thoughts and intentions. Engage in activities that uplift your spirit and align with Islamic teachings. Your wardrobe and appearance can serve as expressions of your commitment to modesty and faith. Embrace the hijab (and/or niqab), not merely as an article of clothing, but as a profound symbol of your identity, piety, and purpose.
Understand that being a chaste woman does not mean isolating yourself from society. On the contrary, interact confidently and assertively, demonstrating that modesty and competence can coexist harmoniously. Challenge any stereotypes that may attempt to undermine your dignity or worth. This journey is personal and continuous so reflect regularly on your actions and growth.
وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَـٰتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَـٰرِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا ۖ وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَىٰ جُيُوبِهِنَّ ۖ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ ءَابَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ ءَابَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِىٓ إِخْوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِىٓ أَخَوَٰتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُهُنَّ أَوِ ٱلتَّـٰبِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُو۟لِى ٱلْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ ٱلرِّجَالِ أَوِ ٱلطِّفْلِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا۟ عَلَىٰ عَوْرَٰتِ ٱلنِّسَآءِ ۖ وَلَا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ مَا يُخْفِينَ مِن زِينَتِهِنَّ ۚ وَتُوبُوٓا۟ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ ٣١
And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, and not to reveal their adornments[1] except what normally appears.[2] Let them draw their veils over their chests, and not reveal their ˹hidden˺ adornments[3] except to their husbands, their fathers, their fathers-in-law, their sons, their stepsons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons or sisters’ sons, their fellow women, those ˹bondwomen˺ in their possession, male attendants with no desire, or children who are still unaware of women’s nakedness. Let them not stomp their feet, drawing attention to their hidden adornments. Turn to Allah in repentance all together, O believers, so that you may be successful.
[1] i.e., hair, body shape, and underclothes.
An-Nur 24:31
[2] i.e., the face, hands, outer clothes, rings, kohl, and henna.
[3] i.e., hair, arms, and legs.
2. Deen Over Dunya
Next, prioritize your faith over worldly desires — deen over dunya. This means you don’t follow others in doing wrong, no matter the temptation or pressure. It takes immense strength to stand out and hold firm to your principles, this is what sets you apart as a woman of high value.
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَـٰكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍۢ وَأُنثَىٰ وَجَعَلْنَـٰكُمْ شُعُوبًۭا وَقَبَآئِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوٓا۟ ۚ إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ ٱللَّهِ أَتْقَىٰكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌۭ ١٣
O humanity! Indeed, We created you from a male and a female, and made you into peoples and tribes so that you may ˹get to˺ know one another. Surely the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous among you. Allah is truly All-Knowing, All-Aware.
Al-Hujurat 49:13
In the journey of life, one often encounters fitna—trials or temptations that test your faith and resolve. These challenges can come in various forms: peer pressure, societal expectations, or personal desires. It’s crucial to identify these trials for what they are and respond with unwavering faith. Facing fitna with a steadfast heart cultivates resilience in your spiritual journey. By anchoring your actions in Islamic principles, you safeguard your soul from distractions that aim to lead you astray.
Remember, your moral compass should always point towards righteousness, no matter how alluring the worldly distractions may seem. Consistently choosing deen over dunya not only fortifies your spiritual journey but also sets a profound example within your community. Stay unwavering in your commitments, for true contentment resides in the realm of faith and virtue.
3. Choose a husband Carefully
As a Muslima, embodying wisdom means making thoughtful and informed decisions about your life partner. Your husband should be someone who complements your values and supports your ambitions. Take the time to understand his character, deen, and whatever goals you both might share. Remember, your choice in a spouse significantly impacts your journey toward self-development and fulfillment in life and the hereafter. Choose wisely, with your deen as your compass.
وَعَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «إِذَا خَطَبَ إِلَيْكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ دِينَهُ وَخُلُقَهُ فَزَوِّجُوهُ إِنْ لَا تَفْعَلُوهُ تَكُنْ فِتَنَةٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَفَسَادٌ عَرِيضٌ» . رَوَاهُ التِّرْمِذِيُّ
He reported God’s Messenger as saying, “When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so there will be temptation in the earth and extensive corruption.”
Mishkat al-Masabih 3090
Tirmidhi transmitted it.
Chapter: Section 2, Book 13: Marriage
This hadith emphasizes that a man’s religion and character should be the primary criteria for marriage, as neglecting these aspects can lead to societal issues.
The foundation of a strong and harmonious marriage is rooted in mutual respect, shared goals, and a commitment to your deen. Make this decision with your head, heart, and soul.
4. Value Character and Pursue Self-Development
Value character and pursue self-development relentlessly. Seek knowledge through reading books and other resources to continually grow. Education is not just academic but also moral and spiritual. Challenge yourself to learn about your deen, the history of Islam, expand your skills, and cultivate virtues such as patience, kindness, and integrity. This continuous self-improvement will empower you and those around you.
حَدَّثَنَا عَلِيُّ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا وَكِيعٌ، عَنْ أُسَامَةَ بْنِ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ الْمُنْكَدِرِ، عَنْ جَابِرٍ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ “ سَلُوا اللَّهَ عِلْمًا نَافِعًا وَتَعَوَّذُوا بِاللَّهِ مِنْ عِلْمٍ لاَ يَنْفَعُ ” .
It was narrated from Jabir that: the Messenger of Allah said: “Ask Allah for beneficial knowledge and seek refuge with Allah from knowledge that is of no benefit.”
Sunan Ibn Majah 3843
Chapter 3: What The Messenger Of Allah Sought Refuge From, Book 34: Supplication
5. Protect Your Personal Space
Protecting your personal space is not about isolation; it’s about fostering a supportive and nurturing environment. Carefully filter the people you allow into your circle, ensuring they contribute positively to your life. Surround yourself with those who uplift and inspire, sharing your values and respecting your boundaries. Embrace the beauty of sisterhood and help each other grow while maintaining strong family ties.
Beware of the company you keep, for the right friends will help you on your path to Jannah. Choose friends who remind you of Allah and support you in your obligations. This protective bubble aids in staying focused, positive, and resilient. Strike a balance between nurturing your personal space and fostering meaningful connections that align with your goals and aspirations. Remember, maintaining strong ties with family and friends is essential, and we are taught to prioritize and cherish these relationships. It’s crucial to surround yourself with those who positively influence your journey and support you in becoming the best version of yourself for the sake of Allah.
6. Social Skills and Emotional Intelligence
Develop social skills and emotional intelligence. Being socially skilled means knowing how to communicate effectively, build relationships, and handle social situations with grace. Emotional intelligence involves understanding and managing your own emotions while being empathetic to others’. Together, these skills enable you to navigate interpersonal dynamics confidently and build meaningful connections.
Effective communication is essential in gaining respect and building strong social skills. The tones we use, especially around non-mahram, are crucial. Speak clearly and confidently, but maintain an appropriate volume—neither too loud nor too soft. This balance shows assurance and respect.
Setting boundaries with others is also fundamental in attracting respect and the right kind of characters into your life. Be assertive in expressing your needs and limitations. People are more likely to respect you when you define and enforce your personal boundaries.
By maintaining careful control over how you present yourself, you’ll inspire others to respect you and, in turn, encourage positive interactions that enrich your life.
7. Behavior According to Situation
Learn to behave appropriately depending on the situation you’re in. Every environment calls for different manners and etiquettes. Understanding how to adapt your behaviour in various settings — whether it’s at work, in social gatherings, or within the family — demonstrates wisdom and social acumen. Maintaining a dual balance of humility and confidence can ensure you strike the right chord in different scenarios. Practice makes perfect, so continue refining your social skills by observing and learning from others who exemplify poise and comprehension.
Delicacy is not a weakness; it is a superpower that allows a woman to approach challenges with grace and determination. Elevate your standards, and let this delicacy become a strength in every aspect of your life, including your personal growth and relationships. Remember, being delicate doesn’t mean being timid or submissive. There’s immense power in handling situations with a gentle yet assertive approach. Use this combination to navigate through challenges effectively, showing that strength comes in many forms, including kindness and sensitivity.
Moreover, embrace the unique challenges and opportunities that come your way. Continuously work on self-improvement strategies such as active listening, empathy, and effective communication. These skills will help you respond appropriately in diverse situations and foster stronger, more meaningful connections. Delicacy paired with intention and mindfulness can transform your interactions and elevate your presence, whether you’re resolving conflicts, making decisions, or simply building rapport with others. Don’t underestimate the impact of a composed and thoughtful demeanour in advancing both your personal and professional life.
8. Take Responsibility
Take responsibility for where you are in life, and avoid dwelling in victim mentality. While life can be unpredictable and challenging, focusing on what you can control empowers you to make positive changes. This mindset shift from victim to victor builds resilience and asserts your agency over your destiny.
لَهُۥ مُعَقِّبَـٰتٌۭ مِّنۢ بَيْنِ يَدَيْهِ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِۦ يَحْفَظُونَهُۥ مِنْ أَمْرِ ٱللَّهِ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا۟ مَا بِأَنفُسِهِمْ ۗ وَإِذَآ أَرَادَ ٱللَّهُ بِقَوْمٍۢ سُوٓءًۭا فَلَا مَرَدَّ لَهُۥ ۚ وَمَا لَهُم مِّن دُونِهِۦ مِن وَالٍ ١١
For each one there are successive angels before and behind, protecting them by Allah’s command. Indeed, Allah would never change a people’s state ˹of favour˺ until they change their own state ˹of faith˺. And if it is Allah’s Will to torment a people, it can never be averted, nor can they find a protector other than Him.
Ar-Ra’d 13:11
It’s essential to remember that strength and self-reliance are valued in Islam. As the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَابْنُ، نُمَيْرٍ قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ إِدْرِيسَ، عَنْ رَبِيعَةَ بْنِ عُثْمَانَ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ يَحْيَى بْنِ حَبَّانَ، عَنِ الأَعْرَجِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ الْمُؤْمِنُ الْقَوِيُّ خَيْرٌ وَأَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِ الضَّعِيفِ وَفِي كُلٍّ خَيْرٌ احْرِصْ عَلَى مَا يَنْفَعُكَ وَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللَّهِ وَلاَ تَعْجِزْ وَإِنْ أَصَابَكَ شَىْءٌ فَلاَ تَقُلْ لَوْ أَنِّي فَعَلْتُ كَانَ كَذَا وَكَذَا . وَلَكِنْ قُلْ قَدَرُ اللَّهِ وَمَا شَاءَ فَعَلَ فَإِنَّ لَوْ تَفْتَحُ عَمَلَ الشَّيْطَانِ ” .
Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer, and there is good in everyone, (but) cherish that which gives you benefit (in the Hereafter) and seek help from Allah and do not lose heart, and if anything (in the form of trouble) comes to you, don’t say: If I had not done that, it would not have happened so and so, but say: Allah did that what He had ordained to do and your” if” opens the (gate) for the Satan.
Sahih Muslim 2664
Chapter 8: Belief In The Divine Decree And Submission To It, Book 46: The Book of Destiny
This hadith encapsulates the importance of cultivating inner strength and using it to navigate life’s trials. By embracing responsibility and fostering a proactive approach, you not only improve your own life but also become a source of inspiration for others.
9. Practice Gratitude
Practice gratitude regularly. A grateful heart attracts positivity and abundance. A way to practice gratitude is through dhikr (remembrance of Allah). Make it a habit to thank Allah regularly for the blessings in your life. This shows appreciation and acknowledgment for what you have and the act of thanking Allah can open doors for even more blessings. Embracing this mindset keeps you aligned with a positive and appreciative heart, always open to greater abundance and joy.
وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ ۖ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِى لَشَدِيدٌۭ ٧
And ˹remember˺ when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will certainly give you more. But if you are ungrateful, surely My punishment is severe.’”
Ibrahim 14:7
حَدَّثَنَا مُوسَى بْنُ إِسْمَاعِيلَ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا الرَّبِيعُ بْنُ مُسْلِمٍ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ زِيَادٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ: لاَ يَشْكُرُ اللَّهَ مَنْ لاَ يَشْكُرُ النَّاسَ.
Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “He who does not thank people does not thank Allah.”
Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 218
Chapter 112: The one who does not thank people, Book 10: Supervision
Additionally, make it a habit to express your gratitude to those around you. Thank your family, friends, and even strangers for their kindness and support. Words of appreciation not only reinforce your own sense of gratitude but also spread positivity to others. By actively practicing gratitude, you create a circle of positivity that uplifts everyone around you.
10. Financial Independence
Have your own finances. Financial independence is crucial for personal freedom and empowerment. Whether you earn a salary or receive an allowance from your father or husband, it’s essential to learn how to manage it effectively. Educate yourself about financial management, budgeting, investing, and saving. By taking charge of your finances, you secure your future and make informed decisions. Additionally, managing family finances as a wife and mother is a significant responsibility. You play a pivotal role in ensuring financial stability and well-being for your household. Embrace this role with confidence and diligence, and your entire family will benefit from your financial wisdom.
11. Diet and Exercise
Pay attention to your diet and exercise for your mental and physical health. For dietary guidance, you might consider looking up Dr. Eric Berg on YouTube to find the right diet for your body type. Regular physical activity not only keeps you fit but also boosts your mental well-being by releasing endorphins and reducing stress.
For Muslima’s of any age, taking care of your health is a form of ibadah (worship) because it shows appreciation for the body Allah has gifted you. Embrace activities that can make exercise fun and sustainable. Whether it’s going for a walk with friends, participating in ladies-only kickboxing classes, or visiting the gym, find what suits you best. Kickboxing, for instance, is a fantastic way to build strength, improve cardiovascular health, and boost confidence.
It’s crucial to maintain a healthy mind alongside a healthy body. Just as you nurture your body with nutritious foods, feed your mind with beneficial knowledge. This holistic approach ensures you’re honouring all aspects of your being. Involving yourself in regular exercise programs can also help you connect with other like-minded women, fostering a sense of community and support.
Remember, taking care of yourself physically is not just about aesthetics; it’s about building a strong vessel to carry out your daily tasks efficiently, whether those are related to work, family, or personal ambitions. Prioritize your health for a balanced and fulfilling life.
12. Self-Grooming and Cleanliness
Focus on self-grooming and cleanliness. Maintaining cleanliness not only impacts your physical health but also your spiritual state. Incorporate regular grooming into your daily routine, and remember, cleanliness is half of your faith (taharah). It reflects your respect for yourself and the sanctity of your body.
وعن أبي مالك الأشعري رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم “الطهور شطر الإيمان” ((رواه مسلم)). وقد سبق بطوله في باب الصبر.
وفي الباب حديث عمرو بن عبسة رضي الله عنه السابق في آخر باب الرجاء، وهو حديث عظيم، مشتمل على جمل من الخيرات.Abu Malik Al-Ash’ari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “Purification is half the Iman.” [Muslim].
Riyad as-Salihin 1031
Chapter 185: The Merits of Ablutions (Wudu’), Book 8: The Book of Virtues
Start with simple habits like showering daily, keeping your nails trimmed, and wearing clean clothes. Clean your space regularly, as a tidy environment promotes peace and focus. Don’t underestimate the emotional uplift that a well-groomed appearance brings. When you feel clean and well-presented, you project confidence and respect for yourself, which others can perceive.
Adhere to the Shariah guidelines on cleanliness. Perform the weekly Jumu’ah Ghusl, and maintain other aspects of hygiene, such as trimming your nails, shaving underarm and pubic hair every 40 days, and brushing your teeth regularly. These practices are recommended sunnah’s that keep you clean and physically prepared for daily worship and community interactions.
Moreover, using hygienic practices can help prevent illness. Regular handwashing, oral hygiene, and appropriate skin care not only make you feel good but also safeguard your health. Investing in these practices shows love and care for the body Allah has blessed you with.
Self-grooming is also an opportunity for self-reflection and self-love. Take this time to connect with yourself, appreciate your effort, and prepare to face the world with renewed energy and positivity. So, embrace taharah, as it is truly a reflection of your inner faith and appreciation for the life and body you have been given.
Each of these principles is a stepping stone toward living a life of high value, integrity, and purpose. In essence, these guiding principles offer a pathway to becoming a high-value Muslim woman who stands firm in her faith and values. By embodying these qualities, you not only elevate yourself but also set an exemplary standard. You will be a source of inspiration for others, contributing positively to the ummah. Remember, each day is an opportunity to grow, to learn, and to become the best version of yourself. Let your journey be one of continuous betterment and positive influence.
