Many parents often express doubts about being a happy stay-at-home mom, feeling the need to work or put their child in daycare to maintain happiness. These feelings are valid and common. This brings up an interesting question: Why do some parents thrive in their roles, while others seem to struggle?
Understanding Your Purpose
As parents, our primary purpose is to raise our children. This doesn’t mean it’s our only purpose, but it certainly comes first. Our children are an Amanah (trust) from Allah, and it is our duty to care for them with love and responsibility. If something competes for our time with our children, that’s where we draw the line. Many parents feel a greater burden when attempting to juggle work, house chores, and parenting. However, what if we flipped the script?
Imagine viewing your role as a parent as the primary focus and everything else, including work, as secondary. It isn’t about dismissing work or other responsibilities; it’s about recognising that when it comes to nurturing your child, parenting is a full-time commitment. If work interferes with this commitment, then perhaps it’s time to reevaluate how you’re managing both.
Set Your Priorities
Instead of letting work dictate your life, let your role as a parent guide your decisions. Many parents feel guilty for not working, but how much work is truly required for providing for your children? Here’s a simple truth: You have control over your own life.
We hear a lot about work-life balance, especially since COVID-19, and companies often feel like they are doing something amazing by offering flexible hours or remote work options. Imagine a mother managing her 5 children seamlessly whilst working from home. One of her babies might still be awake during an important call, and instead of panicking, mom has the baby on the call with her, multitasking effortlessly. Even with all the commotion, everything can go smoothly—it’s about perspective. The reality is, societal norms often imply that children and work shouldn’t mix, but who decides that rule?
As parents, if we decide our own priorities and set our boundaries when it comes to work-life balance, employers will eventually realise they actually have to stick to it rather than just say it. This shift in perspective can make a significant difference in how we manage our roles.
Problem-Solving as a Parent
When faced with challenges as a parent, don’t view your children as obstacles. Sure, it might be more complicated to get things done with kids around, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Everything takes longer, and that’s okay. Push your limits creatively to include your child in your life rather than exclude them due to your responsibilities.
Have a baby? Strap them into a jogging stroller and take them along for your exercise. Need to attend a doctor’s appointment? Bring your kids with you. They’re part of your life, not barriers to it. Accept that some tasks will take longer and allow yourself to focus on one primary goal each day.
Tips to Reduce Stress
- Cut Out the Noise: Stress often comes from auditory overload. Whether it’s listening to your child’s tantrum or the chaos of life, find ways to minimise distractions. If it’s a particularly challenging moment, silence the noise using earbuds or find a quiet space.
- Set Realistic Expectations: Your to-do list will look different as a parent. Embrace that you may accomplish just one thing a day. Write down tasks and spread them out over the month instead of trying to squeeze everything into one day.
- Maximise Nap Times: Use any opportunity when your children are napping, whether it’s in the car or at home, to tackle your work. Utilise that time efficiently.
- Ask for Support: Don’t feel you always have to impose on family and friends to watch your kids. Instead, see if they can help with errands or chores. It’s about working smarter, not harder.
- Cherish Life: Finally, don’t forget to take the time to enjoy life. Appreciate the blessings Allah has bestowed upon you. After all, we are modelling the world for our children. If we stay stressed and overwhelmed, that’s what they will learn. Show them the beauty of gratitude and the joy in everyday moments.
Conclusion
Being a stay-at-home mom is not synonymous with losing your sense of self. It’s about creating a balance that works for you and your children. You can excel in this role, find joy, and experience life fully while nurturing your children every step of the way. The key is to reflect on your values, redefine your priorities, and embrace each moment as it comes. You can absolutely be a relaxed, happy stay-at-home mom!
