When discussing disciplinary actions, we must differ Islam from culture. Culture is what we grew up knowing and can sometimes contrast with Islam’s ruling, especially when it comes to physically and verbally disciplining children.
Some parents spank or beat their kids for misbehaving in an effort to stop them from doing it again. Which, for the most part, won’t work, as they won’t be seeing why what they did was wrong but instead or more inclined to hide what they are doing. This can have an extremely negative impact on the growth and development of the child. 

Researchers at the Australian Institute of Family Studies have said, “Physical punishment to risks of harm to children’s cognitive, behavioral, social, and emotional development. A meta-analysis involving over 160,000 children found that physical punishment can carry the risk of physical abuse (causing a physical injury) and can have similar negative outcomes for children: mental health and emotional challenges, lower cognitive ability, lower self-esteem, more aggression, more antisocial behavior, and negative relationships with parents.”

Instead, there are many other ways to show children what they should/shouldn’t do. For example, when you catch your child hiding and playing on their iPad even though they have already had their screen time, you take it off them and then sit them down and tell them why they shouldn’t hide the fact that they were on the iPad. Ask them why they did it and explain that there are consequences to their actions. Then show them other alternatives to playing on the iPad: arts and crafts, sports, etc. This is allowing the child to understand why what they did was wrong instead of inflicting pain. 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) was also never known to hit a child. Rather, Muslim parents are advised to lead by example and refrain from using punishment until their child is seven years old. The child enters the age of tarbiyyah, or excellent parenting, at the age of seven. During these years, it is necessary to be tough and teach the child etiquette and education; once again, the emphasis is on education rather than violence. When a child hits puberty, the parents’ position shifts to that of friend and mentor since the child is seen as mature enough to take responsibility for their own behavior.

Similary, harsh verbal discipline (the use of psychological force with the intention of causing a child to experience emotional pain) is also disliked. Calling your child names, swearing, and being unkind is common with parents, especially when stressed out or in heated moments.

A study by the National Institute of Health discovered that parental harsh verbal discipline has been linked with conduct problems in children and adolescents. For example, in a test of 3,346 American parents with a child under 18 living at home, they found that children who experienced frequent parental verbal aggression, such as swearing and insults, exhibited higher levels of physical aggression and interpersonal problems. A recent twin study also found that verbal criticism and corporal punishment at age 11 influenced adolescent misbehavior at age 14, even when controlling for genetic characteristics.

The Prophet also encouraged kindness and gentleness with children. Abu Salmah narrated that Abu Hurayrah said, “The Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) kissed Hasan ibn ‘Ali (his grandson) while Aqra’ ibn Habis was sitting nearby. Aqra’ said, ‘I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.’ The Prophet (peace be upon him) looked at him and said, ‘Those who show no mercy will be shown no mercy.’” (Bukhari, Volume No. 91)

In conclusion, gentler/kinder parenting is a more positive way to uplift children. Physical and harsh verbal language can possibly create a strained relationship between a parent and a child.